Why I need play dates more than my daughter

Since having children it has been harder and harder to see my friends, especially the ones without kids.

When I had my first child I became a bit of a recluse. I was obsessed with my many schedules, feeding and sleeping times, creating stimulating play, getting enough fresh air for the baby and if I did go out, it wasn’t for long as I had to be home for the evening routine or the next nap. I was stressed and exhausted.

It took a long while before I began to realise the importance of needing other mothers. Not only did they help me to realise I wasn’t the only one coping with colic but also they didn’t think I was rediculous or boring for asking strange questions about my baby’s poop or my engorged breasts. Thank you Mummy friends.

My first mother friend was a neighbour, who is a childminder. She is an incredible women who not only has three of her own kids but she manages to take care of other people’s children as well. She made me go to toddler groups. It’s down to her that I got out of the house actually. Honestly, I thought my daughter was much too young to be playing with other children but I soon discovered the need for these groups. Not only did it break up my day but it was a great place to get stimulation for my daughter, even at the young age of three months. I never even realised there were groups for newborn babies.

It wasn’t long before I had found a wonderful group of like minded mothers who I loved spending time with. They were always there to listen and most importantly they never judged me. We exchanged numbers quite early on and the next thing I knew we were organising play dates at each other’s houses.

I always thought that I went to these groups so that my first born could learn to share but since having my second child I’ve realised that; yes it’s great for her to experience playing with other children but I go to these groups and meet up with my mummy friends because I need them. I need to moan about my lack of sleep, I need to be able to scream at someone about my toddler’s bad behaviour, I need to ask questions like ‘how on earth do you start to potty train?’ and I need to know that everything that’s happening is normal; I’m not the only one dealing with screaming kids at 2am. No they haven’t been possessed by a demon they are just going through a phase and it will eventually end.

If I didn’t have these amazing women in my life I would have gone stark crazy a long time ago. So thank you to all my wonderful, yummy mummy friends, you have made me a better mummy and it’s down to you that I am raising two amazing kiddies.




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